Can Gen Z Ever Mature?
Without traditional markers of adulthood or a real sense of self-control, what does it mean to become an adult?
Here’s something unique about me: I’m 24 years old and don’t live with my parents. As many have noted, many young zoomers (as well as “zillennials,” that hard-to-define bunch on the tail-end of the millennial generation) are returning to their childhood bedrooms after finishing college. (I would still be in mine if it weren’t for another unusual thing about me: I got married at 24.)
It’s not much of a mystery why this is happening. The entry-level job market is maybe the worst it’s ever been for college grads; meanwhile, rent and real estate are still growing. So many of my friends are unemployed, underemployed, or stuck far outside their field of study. How can they financially justify moving out?
Of course, the fact that this is common hasn’t made it much easier. Even though most of my generation is struggling financially (and in many other ways, of course), we’re still largely stuck with previous generations’ perceptions of success. My dad owned his first house in his 20s, my grandfather owned his first house as a teenager, and I’m sometimes unsure whether I’ll ever own a house. Standards and self-images take a long time to change. Consciously changing them often feels impossible: It’s hard to just say to yourself, “I’m a success,” and believe it.
I’ve written about how the decline of the traditional job ladder has taken away many old markers for success. Modern working life lacks a clear narrative. What does it mean to be successful? What should you expect from a career? When workers entered their careers with well-defined promotions and milestones ahead, these were easy questions. Now, they’re unanswerable.
But for younger generations, this might just be one small part of the problem. Without a doubt, we lack a clear narrative of working life. Plenty of my friends are just waiting to retire off their gambling winnings. But Gen Z lacks any real milestones for maturity. Traditional markers of adulthood—home ownership, marriage, career advancement, and so on—largely seem out of reach.
Here’s a genuine question: If a young person can’t find a decent job, can’t find a long-term relationship, and can’t get a home, is there any way to mature? Broadly, maturity boils down to becoming your own person. It’s about creating your own life without the scaffolding of childhood. Without the building blocks to get away from that scaffolding, is there any hope to reach that sort of self-ownership of adulthood?
And I do believe there are some. I’d bet that a lot of the reason for the popularity of self-improvement content (all the different dreadful forms of “-maxxing”) is that it offers some form of self-control in a life devoid of it. For many young men and women, the gym is the only thing in their power. Plenty more self-improvement content revolves around this same basic principle: Find your little thing and make it yours. Is it enough to feel in control? To be honest, probably not.
And it’d be ridiculous to write about young people and self-control without acknowledging how much addiction defines the Gen Z experience. Gambling, social media, nicotine, porn, shopping, video games, fentanyl—you can find a million pieces about an addiction to everything. At a very basic level, a ton of young people don’t feel like they control what they do. Is this a cause or a symptom of a wider loss of independence? I’m not sure.
But for a generation that feels like it’s stuck in a constant cycle of dependence—whether financial or addictive—the self-determination of adulthood will never feel real. If maturity means being your own person, can a generation that lacks self-ownership ever mature?
Barring a miraculous economic resurgence and cultural shift, I don’t think these problems will resolve any time in the near future. We can’t simply expect to restore old ideas of adulthood like nothing’s happened. Whatever comes next must fit a world that’s fundamentally different—economically, culturally, socially, and so on. I suspect I’ll spend most of my life looking for a good answer to what it means to mature in my generation.



I like your writing and it does a pretty good job of capturing the ennui of the early to mid 20s. Part of the challenge I had at least with my understanding of a career was largely from not being embedded in a group of people I liked and who cared deeply about the craft. Through my mentors and experience, I've got a much clearer idea of where I want to go with my career at least now that I'm almost 30.
For dating, I can't help any of the readers beyond getting involved in a real world thing you care about and maybe hiring a dating coach